寫作原文

　　What a thought-provoking picture. In the picture, although setting on the same table for dinner, people are completely absorbed in their mobile phones, and they are communicating with others through QQ, playing games and purchasing in the online shop.Undoubtedly, the drawer of the cartoon reveals a common phenomenon that mobile phones in our life is becoming so important that people generate the increasingly serious emotions of dependence on it. Various reasons result in the problem. On one hand, with the Price of cell phones declining, the majority of people have ability to purchase mobiles phones. For example, everyone in China possessa phone. On the other hand, with the development of technology, the function of mobile phone is becoming very strong, and more and more people are fascinated with its diversion .And above all, modern people are always too boring and exhausted, and they need somethingssuch as cell phones to relieve pressure. Ultimately, many people are becoming salves of phones.In my opinion, mobile phones are making people in hazard. People always waste lots of time on mobile phones, which can not only impact the health of people but also make people ignore the real reality. Therefore, people must learn to develop the awareness of using mobiles properly.

　　總體點評

　　文章立意正確，內容切題，結構完整，需要以下問題：1、文章的內容雖然切題，但力度不夠，反映到文章中即分析原因不夠深入。比如，由于手機價錢下降，很多人有能力購買手機是什么造成了手機價錢下降?現代人經常感到無聊和疲憊，所以用手機來釋放壓力為什么現代人會無聊和疲憊?2、文章觀點正確，但有一點考慮不夠全面。如文章一直在強調手機對人們帶來的不好影響，但忽視了手機給人們帶來的好處。手機除了輻射是自身的缺陷之外，它本質是對人有利的，焦點在于人們應該適度有效利用手機。3、文章有拼寫錯誤，有的已經影響了表達，如salves。寫完之后需仔細檢查。4、文章有語法錯誤，如everyone后一般現在時應使用動詞的單三形式，需加強自己的語法基礎;5、文章有的地方是中式思維，不夠地道，如sit on the table，需多背誦模仿一些經典佳句，使表達更加精準。加油，祝您考研成功!!!

　　寫作原文

　　What a thought-provoking picture. In the picture, although setting on the same table for dinner, people are completely absorbed in their mobile phones, and they are communicating with others through QQ, playing games and purchasing in the online shop.Undoubtedly, the drawer of the cartoon reveals a common phenomenon that mobile phones in our life is becoming so important that people generate the increasingly serious emotions of dependence on it. Various reasons result in the problem. On one hand, with the Price of cell phones declining, the majority of people have ability to purchase mobiles phones. For example, everyone in China possessa phone. On the other hand, with the development of technology, the function of mobile phone is becoming very strong, and more and more people are fascinated with its diversion .And above all, modern people are always too boring and exhausted, and they need somethingssuch as cell phones to relieve pressure. Ultimately, many people are becoming salves of phones.In my opinion, mobile phones are making people in hazard. People always waste lots of time on mobile phones, which can not only impact the health of people but also make people ignore the real reality. Therefore, people must learn to develop the awareness of using mobiles properly.

　　總體點評

　　文章立意正確，內容切題，結構完整，需要以下問題：1、文章的內容雖然切題，但力度不夠，反映到文章中即分析原因不夠深入。比如，由于手機價錢下降，很多人有能力購買手機是什么造成了手機價錢下降?現代人經常感到無聊和疲憊，所以用手機來釋放壓力為什么現代人會無聊和疲憊?2、文章觀點正確，但有一點考慮不夠全面。如文章一直在強調手機對人們帶來的不好影響，但忽視了手機給人們帶來的好處。手機除了輻射是自身的缺陷之外，它本質是對人有利的，焦點在于人們應該適度有效利用手機。3、文章有拼寫錯誤，有的已經影響了表達，如salves。寫完之后需仔細檢查。4、文章有語法錯誤，如everyone后一般現在時應使用動詞的單三形式，需加強自己的語法基礎;5、文章有的地方是中式思維，不夠地道，如sit on the table，需多背誦模仿一些經典佳句，使表達更加精準。加油，祝您考研成功!!!