寫作原文

　　From the picture we can see a young father died on the patient bed for the sake of overwork and his wife is crying and mourning for him with extreme sadness,so it is with their child.What a shocked scene and how thought provoking the phenomenon that the picture insinuates.What the picture intends to convey is the significance of the awareness of health.With the development of society,people commence to live in a life of a rapid rate.They almost have no time to do some entertainments other than work.Inhence,they dont have enough time to get enough rest.Moreover,because of the life burden,some husbands need to work hard to sustain their families.Some husbands even have more than one job and they are overwhelmed by the strains.Last but not least,some people dont place an emphasis on their health and almost ignore it in daily lives.What they leave to their family members is grief.From my standpoint,it is imperative that effective measures should be taken to eliminate the phenomenon.For governments,they are supposed to make some accordingly policies to relieve the workers pressure.For workers,they must cultivate a good awareness of health and combine exertion and rest.

　　總體點評

　　文章寫得還不錯!但是應當注意詞匯選擇的準確性及句子的精簡。以后的寫作中，還是應該加強基礎的語法知識，積累并模仿高分語言佳句，使自己的表達更地道更優美。看著你的作文一天天在進步，我們為你感到高興，要繼續加油哦，堅持就是勝利，祝你考研成功!

　　寫作原文

　　From the picture we can see a young father died on the patient bed for the sake of overwork and his wife is crying and mourning for him with extreme sadness,so it is with their child.What a shocked scene and how thought provoking the phenomenon that the picture insinuates.What the picture intends to convey is the significance of the awareness of health.With the development of society,people commence to live in a life of a rapid rate.They almost have no time to do some entertainments other than work.Inhence,they dont have enough time to get enough rest.Moreover,because of the life burden,some husbands need to work hard to sustain their families.Some husbands even have more than one job and they are overwhelmed by the strains.Last but not least,some people dont place an emphasis on their health and almost ignore it in daily lives.What they leave to their family members is grief.From my standpoint,it is imperative that effective measures should be taken to eliminate the phenomenon.For governments,they are supposed to make some accordingly policies to relieve the workers pressure.For workers,they must cultivate a good awareness of health and combine exertion and rest.

　　總體點評

　　文章寫得還不錯!但是應當注意詞匯選擇的準確性及句子的精簡。以后的寫作中，還是應該加強基礎的語法知識，積累并模仿高分語言佳句，使自己的表達更地道更優美。看著你的作文一天天在進步，我們為你感到高興，要繼續加油哦，堅持就是勝利，祝你考研成功!